PRESENT, BUT NOT THERE

Two kinds of calls come into my practice most often.

One is from a father — successful, respected, running hard at work — who says some version of: "I'm home every night, but I'm not really there." He's present in the room and absent from it at the same time. The job doesn't stay at the office anymore. It comes home in his shoulders, his silence, his short patience with his kids.

The other call is about a son. Eighteen, twenty-two, sometimes older — sharp, capable, but stalled. No real plan, no clear next step, more comfortable online than out in the world. Parents describe it the same way every time: "He's not lazy. He just seems lost."

These aren't separate problems. A father running on empty has less left to hand down — less time, less patience, less of the steady presence a young man needs while he's still figuring out who he is. It's not anyone's fault. It's what happens when the demands on men keep climbing and the support around them doesn't.

I work with both — the men trying to lead a family while running on fumes, and the young men still trying to find solid ground. Often, helping one is how you help the other.

Dr. Mark R. Dell, Psy.D.

Psychologist, Pennington, NJ

(609) 439-6526 | drmarkdell.com